Over the years, the Tate Gallery’s Turner Prize entrants and winners have attracted public derision and disbelief. Each year, people assured each other they could have done better art than that on show at the Tate for the competition.

Trevor Prideaux, organiser of the Turnip Prize, started the annual competition when Tracey Emin’s Unmade Bed won the Turner Prize in 1999. You can see his point – most of us have done similar works of art – every morning in fact. Of course, we don’t think about the meaning of our unmade beds and explain it to art experts so they could write learned pieces explaining it to the rest of us and telling us why an unmade bed is such great art.

Don’t think the Turnip Prize doesn’t have strict criteria for entry. There have been disqualifications for works that aren’t of the required standard. Some of them were too good and too much effort had been put in to producing them.

When the competition was announced in 1999, it was plainly stated, “You can enter anything you like, but it must be rubbish,” so people who produce work that is too good only have themselves to blame when it’s disqualified. One year, the most famous piece ever to be disqualified might or might not have been by famous graffitti artist Banksy. It was a stencil of the Mona Lisa holding a rocket launcher firing a turnip. It wasn’t eligible for the competition because obviously too much effort and thought had gone into its production.

The prize has just been award for 2008 and it went to 69 year old Ivor Prance with his Fleeced and consisted of a piece of sheep’s wool which he picked off some barbed wire near his home. He said, “The work took no time at all to create.” He won the coveted trophy, a turnip stuck on a 6 inch nail.

The competition takes place each year at the New Inn, in the village of Wedmore, Somerset (south west England). If you want to enter, then it will have to be November 2009. Don’t spend time thinking about your entry or making it because, if you do, it will probably be disqualified. See the rules on The Turnip Prize.

Other winning entries:

1999 – Alfred The Grate (two burned rolls on a fire grate)

2000 – Minstrel Cycle (a bicyclemade from sweets, cocktail sticks and Tampons)

2001 and 2002 the competition was cancelled.

2003 – Take a Leaf out of my Chook (A raw chicken stuffed with leaves)

2004 – Jellied Deal, A wobbly jelly with submerged playing cards.

2005 – Birds Flew (An empty birds’ nest with a box of flu remedy)

2006 – Torn Beef (empty corned beef can)

2007 – Tea P (Used tea bags in the shape of a P)

Almost all children in the UK know this rhyme. It commemorates the plot by Guy Fawkes and other plotters to blow up the Houses of Parliament.

In 1605 Fawkes and the others planted barrels of gunpowder in the cellars beneath Parliament. The aim was to assassinate the king, James I, who was due to visit the building for the State Opening, as well as the aristocracy.

Fawkes and the other plotters were Catholic and this was a period when Roman Catholicism was being suppressed in favour of Protestantism. They hoped the assassination would provoke a Catholic uprising.

Unfortunately for them, the authorities were tipped off about the plan and, on the 5th November, the day of the State Opening, a search revealed Guy Fawkes in the cellars with 20 barrels of gunpowder and the means to detonate them. He was arrested along with other plotters. Fawkes was tortured in the Tower of London then put on trial. He was sentenced to be hanged, drawn and quartered – this meant he would have been hanged but cut down before he died, then his body would be cut open and his internal organs taken out and burned in front of him, then he would be cut into quarters. He was lucky, though, before he could be partly hanged, he jumped from the platform of the gallows and broke his neck and died. Some of the other plotters weren’t so lucky and the full sentence was carried out.

Now we celebrate the failure of the Gunpowder Plot each year on the 5th November by lighting bonfires and letting off fireworks. When I was a child, we used to make a ‘Guy’, an effigy of Guy Fawkes, then sit in the street with our guy in an old pushchair or homemade go-kart. As people went by we’d say “Penny for the guy” and passersby would give us money. Of course, in these less innocent times, that custom has died out. Even so, an effigy is still burnt on the bonfire.

I was just browsing the blogs here and stumbled across Maison Douce written by Isabel Feist, a collector turned dealer and antique shows and malls in the USA. Scroll down if the big picture at the top takes too long to load because the rest of the blog loads quickly.

The first thing that caught my eye was the fabulous pictures from the Portland Antiques Expo last weekend. They really capture the flavour of the show. I’ve been to many antiques & collectors fairs (shows) here in the UK and the stalls (booths) often have this serendipitous look, as if you just look carefully you’re bound to find the things you love. In fact, in these pictures, I can see several things I would have loved to buy. There were a few pieces of distressed furniture that could be made to look quite special, for example. I rather liked the small four drawer cabinet decorated with flowers – looks quirky to me.

The people in the pictures look like they’re having fun too. I’ve spent time selling at fairs here in England and most of the time, when it’s been quiet, we’ve had such a laugh. I’ve heard dealers saying, “This lot (the visitors to the fair) are useless, they’re all TTs.” When I enquired what he meant he said, “Ticket turners, darling.” He said that they just pick up the ticket tag hanging from pieces and got them grubby so they had to be changed. That would be all right if the TTs ever bought anything.

One time I was at a big fair at the NEC, Birmingham, England, where they hold huge exhibitions of all kinds from Crufts the Dog Show to huge trade shows. This antique fair lasted for about 5 days and the final day was a Sunday. This brought the largest number of people through the door. Unfortunately, most of them had no intention of buying antiques or collectables and takings were the lowest of any other day for that fair. One dealer said, “The people of Birmingham come to the NEC on Sunday for a day out. They don’t care if it’s an antiques fair or an exhibition of heavy earth moving equipment!”

I cannot tell you how many times somebody has asked about a piece and then said to his/her companion, “My granny had one just like that and it was never worth that much.” Us stall holders were obviously meant to be either deaf or impervious to insult. It was never worth explaining that her granny’s whatever was probably an inferior version, not in such good condition or not very like what she’d asked about.

One of my worst experiences happened at the NEC. At that time I wore soft contact lenses which dried out quite quickly in the fierce air conditioning there so I had to keep visiting the toilets to take them out and rehydrate them. One time I did this and, as I took a lens out, I sort of flicked my hand quickly – don’t ask me why. I didn’t know if I’d pushed the lens inside my eyelid or lost it on the floor or washbasin – all with plenty of water splashes on them. It’s almost impossible to find a soft lens in water. The 3 cubicles had women in them and when I exclaimed loudly in annoyance, they asked me what was wrong when they came out. They insisted on helping me search even though I knew it was impossible. Eventually we all gave up and I did the remaining two days of the show with just one lens which was uncomfortable, to put it mildly!

According to the Webster Dictionary, a potpourri is a miscellaneous collection and that is appropriate for my plans for this blog.

I’ll write about what I’m doing, my thoughts on current events and quirky happenings, my dogs, and anything else that interests me. Of course, I hope that it will interest other people as well.

I live in Wiltshire, a county in the South of England, my health is not great so I’m semi-retired but still write compulsively, mostly on Squidoo where I was recently made a Giant Squid – trust me, that’s good!

I’ve worked on specialist newspapers and magazines for many years but went freelance in 1988. I’ve had two books published on buying antiques as well as articles in magazines and writing online for 10 years now.

Not only am I a compulsive writer, I’m on a compulsive reader too. I read all kinds of books from thrillers to classics. I’m passionately interested in politics and current affairs. I believe if you don’t vote, you shouldn’t complain about what politicians do. Watching people in South Africa, after the fall of the apartheid regime, standing in line for hours to vote for the very first time in their lives brought tears to my eyes. It brought home to me how lucky we are in the UK and other democratic countries to have this right.